Month: June 2016

Has Tinder pulled the trigger on chivalry?

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I went on a date the other week with a guy who only a few minutes in, confessed he was on Tinder and was “addicted to getting matches”(translation – I love to get my ego stroked). That really should have been my cue to leave *face palm* … but I stayed. As he continued, the chat seemed very self centered. At the time I just thought “thank god, someone that leads the conversation, this is refreshing!” but as the night went on I started to realise that these stories (which were pretty yawn) had likely been told a number of times to a number of different girls, they were just too rehearsed for spontaneous chat.

It got me thinking, is Tinder killing chivalry? It’s providing a platform to technically “shop” for dates at a touch of a finger, like a pair of shoes. Woman have never been more accessible to men (and probably vice versa). There is no need to build up the courage to approach someone in person and ask them on a date. There is no period of developing a crush and planning how you will win them over. There really is not much effort at all in securing a date, so does this mean Tinder is changing the world of dating and maybe even relationships?

Tinder finds you matches based solely on what you look like and what you have. There is very little room to show personality and the little you can show can be easily “created” with some strategically written Tinder captions and staged profile pictures. Its probably quite easy to get a right swipe … right? Post your best looking selfie and your BMW, Audi station wagon or Land Rover and you have yourself 20 matches?

Now Im not hating on Tinder at all, its not for me, but I appreciate it has a role to play in todays dating world. Neither am I saying that this dating behavior doesn’t go both ways, Im sure woman play this game too, but as a woman I am obviously going to write this from my own perspective. It seems that Tinder has taken the work out of dating which has contributed to a general lack of romance and chivalry. I understand that Tinder is more of a platform for these short term relationships (by short term I mean one or two dates) but is this too tempting for men? Will actual relationships start becoming a thing of the past?

Tinder seems to be a dating world of ‘Mr Bigs’. I’ve never had a Mr Big and Im not that keen on meeting one, so Im going to continue on with the ‘Aiden’s’. I met an ‘Aiden’ a few weeks ago and it all started with an Insta like …. so Ill tell you all about that in the next post!

Holly xxx

 

 

 

 

 

Dating in your 30s : Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

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I don’t feel that New Zealander’s really date. We tend to meet someone, put all our eggs in one guys basket and hope for the best. In many cases, we try and make something work that we kinda know might not be right. Maybe because they fit in with our friends and lifestyle or its easier than playing the dating numbers game? I have been like that in the past when I dated in my early 20s, but this time round its different … and its so much more fun!

I use to live in the states and I absolutely love the way they ACTUALLY date. It’s completely ok to put yourself out there and meet a range of people, I’m all for it. I mean you can spend months getting to know someone, to see if there is potential for something long term, to only release that there’s not and you have to start all over again!

Don’t go out and sleep with everyone … jesus…. but put your self out there! Let go of all your expectations and prerequisites and get know guys that you usually wouldn’t go for. You never know. For me its not about looks or money or what they do, its that connection that comes out of no where, a connection that you cant plan for and a connection that you least expect. Yes its a numbers game but the more people you meet in life, the richer, stronger and more interesting you become!

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All Shades of Grey

Grey is the colour of the Autumn season for me this year. Grey T-shirts, knits and jackets paired with white, light blue or ripped jeans are pretty much my go to for both work and out and about. I just change out my heels for boots or sneakers. Im especially loving oversized knits and long skinny knits that can be draped off the shoulder.

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Photos: Matty P Photography

Seed Cable Knit Poncho

Felt Fedora

Adidas Superstar Originals

Tony Bianco LYLA

Nike Air Max 90

Seed Cable Fringe Snood

Holly xxx