I’m about to turn 31 and during the last few weeks of my 30’s I’ve realised there is nowhere else I’d rather be, or nowhere else I should be.
I have never really been single. I have always jumped from relationship to relationship with a few months in-between. I have always been a pretty confident person, I have never really hit any lows, I’ve always been good at fitting into unfamiliar situations and been happy to step out of my comfort zone. But looking back on it, I have always had someone there to fall back on, someone to reassure me, a security blanket. Now that I am not in a relationship I’ve realised how important it is to find your own happiness. Happiness that comes from within and not a happiness that relies on someone else.
When you are content and happy within yourself and with only yourself, then you are better prepared for long lasting happiness. You know that through all the bumps in the road, you will be ok, because you have been and can be happy again on your own. The reality of it is you never really know when a relationship may end. Anyone could walk out the door and be hit by a car. Losing a love for whatever reason can be life destroying but the stronger you are going into it, the stronger you are going out of it.
Spending the last 6 months single has really changed my perspective on life. I was forced to spend time alone, make decisions alone and just be alone. It’s scary, especially when you are so use to being part of a team. In your 30’s and all your friends are married and having children you feel a lot more alone than you did single in your twenties! But I soon realised that I didn’t need to rely on a relationship to be happy. I didnt need someones attention all day to feel secure about myself. I have built a new security and found a new happiness that relies on no one but myself.
I watched an amazing video of Jada Pinkett-Smith talking to her daughter Willow about being a mother and a wife. She talks about how important it is to find that inner happiness in order to provide happiness to those around you.
“You have to take care of yourself in order to have the alignment and the power to take care of others”
So the last few weeks of my 30’s are pretty much booked already, as is most of my life now! However, I always keep 2 days a week free of other people’s company, my phone, social media and even my cat to spend time with just me.